Because You Are In Love With Me
by OriharaRoppi
Summary: Why? Why can't he love me? I hate this guy… So much… Today is different than the other days. I wanted to see my Psyche just that last time. I even wanted to talk to him but there was not more than the cheery 'Ropp-nii' and my pathetic smile while I greeted back with a nod. Today is different because it's the last one. The last day of my life. (Tsuki x Roppi, fluff, warnings inside)


**_Hello, that's my first fanfiction and english isn't my first language so please overlook grammar mistakes ^^;_**

**_The story contains male x male relationship, selfharm and contents that may triggers something. M rated to be safe._**

**_It's a true story (after a roleplay)._**

**_I don't own Durarara! or any of the characters. _**

**_Summary: _**

**_Why? Why can't he love me? _**

**_I hate this guy… So much…_**

**_Today is different than the other days. I wanted to see my Psyche just that last time. I even wanted to talk to him but there was not more than the cheery 'Ropp-nii~' and my pathetic smile while I greeted back with a nod._**

**_Today is different because it's the last one. _**

**_The last day of my life. _**

**_Pairings:_******

**_Mainly Tsuki x Roppi,  
Sideships Roppi x Psyche, Izaya x Psyche_**

_**Roppi's POV**_

_Why? Why can't he love me?_

_I hate this guy… So much…_

I'm sitting in Shizuo's Café, right by the counter and watch him. How he dances and laughs. He is beautiful in so many ways and somehow it's weird to say that because we share the same face.

But our eyes are different. His eyes are colored in that shade of pink that made my heart soft. Mine are colored in that ugly red.

My eyes linger a bit longer on that soft pink before Psyche turns his back to me while he was dancing. And then I see the face of the man I hate. Deeply. With all my soul and heart. And still that man has the face of the one that I love.

"Iza-nii"

How I hate that human-adoring asshole….

_Breathing deeply in before I'm able to open the door. I keep telling myself that this will be my chance and things will turn out fine. He has been avoiding me, locked me out. Now he finally lets me in…_

_"Psyche…" _

_Then I see him standing in the edge. I didn't notice him first, but now that he walked over to Psyche I look at Psyche with asking eyes._

_"I need Iza-nii being around Ropp… I cant bear it without him on my side"_

_"Psyche I… I…"_

_"I know Ropp but" he shakes his head, taking a hold of Izaya's hand "I cant breathe with you, your love is suffocating me, Ropp. I want to breathe and run around happy again"_

"Roppi, are you okay? You look like you have a fever." Shizuo's voice is concerned as it tears me away from the words still hurt. And I guess I won't ever forget them.

"Yes I'm fine Shizuo." I'm even able to put on a smile for him. The fever started yesterday and I think its getting worse. But what would that matter? "I have some medicine from Shinra, don't worry"

I can feel his testing eyes on me as he mumbles "if you say so Roppi". He is noticing too much. That today I'm acting different.

Today is different than the other days. I wanted to see my Psyche just that last time. I even wanted to talk to him but there was not more than the cheery 'Ropp-nii~' and my pathetic smile while I greeted back with a nod.

Today is different because it's the last one.

The last day of my life.

I look at Shizuo who is drying glasses behind the counter. From time to time his eyes flicker over to check on me. He always cared for me. We even did that crazy blood-brother-thing. And he used to catch me as my heart broke the first time. He was also there as I was desperate after Psyche breaking up. But still…. I feel so empty.

I wonder if I should tell Shizuo what I'm up to. He probably would try to stop me.

I sigh and get up. One last look at Psyche. As his gaze meets mine I smile "See you Psyche" He answers in his usual cheery way "Okay~ see you tomorrow Ropp" I nod and lay the money for Shizuo on the counter. Then I hurry out of the Café.

My smile falls like someone did cut the strings on the edges as I'm outside. _There won't be a tomorrow Psyche_.

Its cold today so I so push my hands into the pockets of my jacket while my feet lead me down the street. A slight rustling sound comes from the left pocket as my hand brushes against the farewell note. I already prepared it this morning. I was afraid I would loose my courage to end my life if I have to write it the moment I'm about committing suicide. The note is rather short… only a few words meant for Psyche. That it was my decision to die. I don't want to suffocate him more as I already did.

Its dark already and not many people are crossing my way.

Slowly I walk to the place where I will leave that world. My head is spinning from the fever. Unlike I said to Shizuo I didn't bother to buy medicine, it wouldn't matter anymore right? But right now I could kick my ass for that cause my sight blurring up and I stagger aimlessly around, the world spinning around me. _Shit, I won't make it onto the roof of the building like that._

I can already see the old high building I chose for my farewell. But in my current state it seems so far away. Looking around for something to hold on I can feel my knees giving in. I hear my own gasping and panting breath as the world around me threatens to sink into the black. _Whatever… maybe I die from the cold. Either way fine with me. _

But I wanted to see the city lights. I always dreamed to be able to fly. That's why I thought jumping off the building would be suiting for my farewell to the world. Guess not even that wish is granted for me.

I wonder why my face isn't hitting the cold and wet concrete. I know I was falling as my knees lost the strength to carry me. Dizzy I open my eyes and look right into two red orbs behind glasses, filled with worry. Then I realize that I'm carried by someone.

"I-I'm Tsukishima. A-are you o-okay?"

_**That's it for the start. I hope you enjoyed ^^ I will update as soon as I can.**_


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